Counselling with Conviction: July 2025

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

The Cost of the Call

Leading with Conviction – Part 2

There’s a reason so few people truly want to lead: it costs something. Not applause, not attention — but time, emotional labor, even heartbreak. And if we’re honest, the cost can feel unbearable at times.

Just ask Moses.

Here was a man handpicked by God, entrusted with a miraculous mission, and empowered to confront Pharaoh himself. But what followed was decades of desert wandering, constant complaints from his people, and personal frustration so intense that he once struck a rock in disobedience — forfeiting his entry into the Promised Land (Numbers 20:10–12).

Moses led through pain. Not just physical hardship, but emotional weight — the kind that bends a man low in private while he’s expected to stand tall in public.

And still… God called him.

Frustration Isn’t Failure

If you’ve ever felt angry, exhausted, or disillusioned while leading, you’re not alone. Even Moses, God’s appointed shepherd, cried out:

“What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me?”
— Numbers 11:11 (NIV)

He was transparent with his pain — and God didn’t revoke his calling. Leadership was never about having it all together. It was about staying with the people even when they were hard to love.

The Cross-Shaped Cost

Jesus Himself set the tone for true leadership:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
— Luke 9:23 (NIV)

This is the cost of the call — not prestige, but sacrifice. Not ambition, but submission.

The shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. (John 10:11)

And yet, the modern church too often celebrates charisma over character. We applaud leaders for their stage presence while ignoring the state of their soul. But biblical leadership isn’t loud — it’s low. It kneels, it weeps, it repents.

A Word to the Weary

If you’ve been leading through pain, you’re not disqualified. You may be more qualified than you think.

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care… not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”
— 1 Peter 5:2–3 (NIV)

You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to pretend. Just keep walking — staff in hand, heart wide open — toward the One who called you.

Let Go of the White-Knuckled Grip

You don’t need to lead by sheer force of will. The cost of the call was never meant to be carried in your own strength. When we try to white-knuckle our way through ministry — gripping control, masking burnout, and muscling through conflict — we eventually collapse.

But when we release control…
When we submit again to the One who called us…
There is power.
There is rest.
There is grace for today.

The strength to lead doesn’t come from within — it flows through surrendered hands.

A Final Encouragement

If you're tired, you’re not alone. If you're hurting, you’re still called. If you've been carrying more than God asked of you, maybe today is the day to let go — not of the call, but of the burden you were never meant to bear alone.

Return to the Shepherd and Overseer of your soul (1 Peter 2:25),
and let Him restore the reason you began leading in the first place.

Saturday, July 26, 2025

How to Lead Through Pain – Part 1

When the Wound Is Still Open

by Counselling With Conviction

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
— Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

There’s a sacred kind of ache—the one that hasn’t fully healed yet.

The one that lingers even as you show up to lead.

The one that reminds you you’re not invincible, not immune, and not the hero.

Pain that’s still open is the kind that God doesn’t rush.
And yet, in our roles as leaders, counselors, pastors, mentors—we’re often expected to push through it.

But what if we didn’t?

What if we led from that very place, not in performance, but in dependence?

⚠️ Leading While Bleeding

Many of us have led in seasons where we were silently breaking.

We preached peace while privately panicking.
We offered hope while hiding our grief.
We said, “I’m fine” because that’s what we thought leaders were supposed to say.

But Scripture gives us a better way.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”
— 2 Corinthians 4:7 (NIV)

You don’t have to be the treasure.
You just have to be the jar.

💔 The Pattern of Pain in God’s People

Moses led while grieving.
David ruled while running.
Paul wrote letters of encouragement while imprisoned and afflicted.
And Jesus? Jesus led His disciples all the way to the cross while carrying the weight of our sin and sorrow.

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.”
— Isaiah 53:3 (NIV)

If our Savior didn’t lead from comfort, we shouldn't expect comfort to be a requirement for our calling either.

🧠 You Are Not Disqualified

Some will say:
“But I’ve failed too many times.”
“I’m too broken to lead anyone.”

And to that, Scripture responds:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

If you’re in a season of weakness—you’re in the perfect position for God’s power to shine.

🕊️ An Invitation, Not a Performance

This isn’t a call to parade your pain.
It’s a call to stop pretending that healing is a prerequisite for usefulness.

The wound may still be open,
but that doesn’t mean God is done with you.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Your leadership may not look like it used to.
But it may look more like Christ than ever before.

💛 Final Word

If your hands are trembling and your heart is heavy,
you’re in good company.

You are not leading alone.
You are not expected to be enough.
You are a jar of clay, filled with the power of the Living God.

And yes—even with the wound still open—
you can lead.

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Back to the Father – Part 6

Knowing Where You Belong

by Counselling With Conviction

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him...”
— Luke 15:20 (NIV)

There comes a point in every believer’s life where we must decide—not just if we believe in God, but where we stand with Him. Are we hiding in shame like Adam? Are we caught in comparison like Cain? Or are we watching from a distance like the older brother, unwilling to rejoice in someone else's return?

The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 has been preached and retold countless times—and yet it remains deeply personal to those of us who have wandered, or who have wept under the weight of being misunderstood within the Body of Christ.

In this final part of the Back to the Father series, we turn our eyes to the one person whose choice changes everything:
the younger son.

🔁 The Journey to Come Home

This series began with a question—God’s question:
“Where are you?”
We’ve explored shame, false beliefs, community wounds, and our calling to walk in what is good.

But here, in Part 6, the focus shifts.
We are no longer lost. We are standing at the edge of the road.
And the Father is already running toward us.

🙇‍♂️ The Role of the Believer: A Heart That Returns

The beauty of the younger son isn’t just that he returned.
It’s that he returned even though he thought he wasn’t worthy.
He came back because, despite everything, he knew where he belonged.

Many believers wrestle with this same tension.
They know the Father is good, but the voices of “older brothers” in the church say otherwise.

And unfortunately, when churches operate without real shepherding—when spiritual authority is handed out based on tenure instead of calling—it’s often the voice of the older brother that drowns out the compassion of the Father.

“All these years I’ve been slaving for you…”
“Why should he get restored?”
“Who does he think he is?”

Sound familiar?

🐑 Seniority vs. Shepherding

Churches that reflect the older brother more than the Father often drift into legalism, elitism, or performance-driven faith.
Instead of rejoicing over the return of the hurting, they protect their position.
Instead of open arms, they offer crossed arms.

But the Father isn’t impressed with seniority. He’s drawn to surrender.
And true shepherds don’t protect power—they lead people home.

The believer must find themselves in the place of the younger brother—
not the shame, but the humility.
Not the guilt, but the gratitude.
Not the wandering, but the return.

💬 The Father Still Runs

If you’ve felt unsure of your place in the church…
If others made you feel unworthy to belong…
Let this be your moment to say:

“I will arise and go to my Father.”

Because the truth is this:
Your place is not determined by what others think of you.
It’s secured by the love of the One who sees you while you’re still a long way off.

🧭 Series Summary: Back to the Father

This 6-part series was written to help you return—not just to faith, but to the Father Himself:

Where Are You? – God’s first question is still His most loving.
What Have You Done? – Shame doesn’t scare Him. It draws Him near.
Who Told You That? – We must replace lies with His truth.
Trusting the Fellowship Once Again – Healing among His people is possible.
Walking in What is Good – Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly.
Knowing Where You Belong – Your place is with the Father—always.

💛 Final Invitation

Believer,
Whether you are limping back or leaping into His arms,
Whether you feel fully restored or still far off…

The Father is waiting.
Not with rebuke.
But with a robe.
With a ring.
With joy.

Let the voice of grace be louder than the voice of comparison.
You know where you belong.

Back with the Father.

Monday, July 14, 2025

Part 5: Faith After the Fall

Restoring Purpose After Pain

A Counselling With Conviction Article

“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”
— Psalm 37:24, NIV

When Everything Breaks

There’s something uniquely painful about falling after you've already known the truth. Whether it’s a moral failure, a crisis of faith, or just the slow erosion of hope — a fall can make you feel disqualified from anything meaningful. You wonder if your best days are behind you. If your gifts still matter. If your presence is still welcome.

But in God’s Kingdom, failure does not end the story — it reframes it.

God doesn’t discard broken vessels; He restores them with purpose and power.

The God Who Restores

Think of Peter, whose boldness turned to denial in Jesus’ darkest hour — and yet, in John 21, we see Jesus restore him not just to relationship, but to leadership.

Or David, whose failure was catastrophic and deeply personal. His cries in Psalm 51 don’t just plead for forgiveness — they plead for usefulness again:
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalm 51:12)

Restoration is not just about healing wounds — it’s about reclaiming calling.
It’s about recognizing that God doesn’t need perfection. He wants surrender.

“He restores my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”
— Psalm 23:3, NIV

Your Purpose Was Never Canceled

You may have assumed that your usefulness in God’s plan ended with your pain. But that assumption didn’t come from God.

Paul, once a violent persecutor of the church, became its most relentless builder. Why? Because when God heals, He also redeems — not just your heart, but your story.

Even the ugliest chapter, in God’s hands, becomes a testimony of grace.

Micah 6:8 — The Bottom Line

When we feel lost or unworthy, unsure what God wants from us, Micah offers an answer both profound and simple:

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.”
— Micah 6:8, NIV

Not perfection. Not performance.
Just justice. Mercy. Humility.
That’s the road back. That’s how you begin again.

He Hasn’t Changed — Even If You Have

One of the hardest lies to silence after we’ve fallen is the one that whispers, “You’re not the same person anymore.” And while that may be true… so is this:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
— Hebrews 13:8, NIV

His love hasn’t shifted. His calling hasn’t been revoked.
His grace hasn’t run out.

You may have changed. But He hasn’t.

Questions for the Journey

Where have I assumed my fall has disqualified me from purpose?
What would it mean to start walking again — humbly, quietly — with God?
Can I accept that restoration isn’t earned, but received?

Take time to journal, pray, or simply be quiet with the Lord. Ask Him to renew your heart — not just your behavior, but your identity.

Closing Encouragement

You are not behind.
You are not too far gone.
You are being refined — and that’s part of the process.

“And the God of all grace… after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
— 1 Peter 5:10, NIV

The fall was real — but so is your future.
And faith still says yes.

Sunday, July 6, 2025

Back to the Father, Part 4

Trusting the Fellowship Once Again

Reentering Christian community after being hurt can feel like stepping into a room full of open wounds. For many, it’s not God they mistrust — it’s His people. And yet, Scripture reminds us that we were never meant to walk this road alone. The road back to the Father often leads through the messy, beautiful path of fellowship.

The Isolation That Hurt Brings

Church hurt often drives us into isolation — not just from a specific group of people, but from the very idea of fellowship. And honestly, isolation can feel safer. There’s no risk of being misunderstood, manipulated, or overlooked when you’re alone. But over time, that safety turns to suffocation. We were created for connection, and while solitude may serve us for a season, it cannot sustain us long-term.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together… but encouraging one another.”
— Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

Even psychology affirms what Scripture teaches: community is essential to healing. We need spaces where we can be known, seen, and loved — especially after pain.

Jesus Understands Betrayal by His Own

One of the greatest sources of comfort is knowing that Jesus Himself was betrayed — not by outsiders, but by one of His own. He knows the sting of disloyalty, the heartbreak of misplaced trust, the ache of a fractured circle.

“He who shared my bread has turned against me.”
— John 13:18 (NIV)

If Jesus, perfect and sinless, could experience betrayal within His own fellowship, then it makes sense that we too might encounter hurt. And yet, He did not give up on community. He continued loving, teaching, and restoring — even when it hurt.

Relearning Trust Doesn’t Mean Rushing In

Healing doesn’t mean pretending everything’s okay. It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to be cautious. It’s okay to seek God before stepping back into church walls or small group circles.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
— Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Guarding your heart doesn’t mean closing it off forever. It means being wise about who you trust, how you open up, and where you plant roots. The goal isn’t to return to the very place that hurt you, but to move forward into a place that nurtures and protects what God is restoring in you.

The Fellowship Is God’s Gift, Not Man’s Invention

Christian community isn’t a modern church trend. It’s a sacred design. It was God who said it’s not good for man to be alone. It was Jesus who sent His disciples out two by two. And it was the early Church who devoted themselves not just to teaching and prayer — but to fellowship.

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”
— Acts 2:42 (NIV)

Fellowship is where burdens are shared, joy is multiplied, and lives are transformed. It’s not perfect, but it’s powerful. When centered on Christ, fellowship becomes a vessel of grace, healing, and growth.

Moving Forward with Open Hands

Rebuilding trust doesn’t require blind faith — it requires brave steps. No one expects you to forget the past. But God invites you not to let it define your future. Even fractured community can be redeemed. Even the loneliest heart can find a home again.

“So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”
— Romans 12:5 (NIV)

You don’t have to dive back in. Just take one small step. A conversation. A visit. A prayer. A willingness to try again. God honors each act of courage.

Final Thoughts

You’re not weak for hesitating. You’re human. But God is patient — and powerful — able to gently restore your trust in His people one faithful step at a time.

Coming back to the Father often includes rediscovering the beauty of His family. And like all good families, the healthiest ones learn from their mistakes and fight for what matters: each other.

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Back to the Father – Healing Before the Walls

Part 3: Relearning the Sound of His Voice

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”
— John 10:27 (NIV)

When the storm of church hurt has passed, what often remains is silence.
Not peace — just quiet.
A stillness that doesn’t comfort, but unsettles.

Where is God’s voice now?

Where is the joy, the conviction, the certainty you once knew?

This third part of our journey isn’t about returning to the noise of religion.
It’s about rediscovering the voice of your Shepherd.

🔹 The Silence After the Storm

Many believers who’ve been wounded by leadership, doctrine, or community retreat — not just from the building, but from God Himself. The silence they experience afterward is confusing and disheartening.

But what if the silence isn’t absence?
What if it’s invitation?

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”
— Psalm 145:18 (NIV)

God has not gone anywhere. But sometimes, healing requires a stillness that lets His voice rise above the noise we used to confuse for Him.

🔹 God’s Voice Is Not What Hurt You

We must say it clearly: God’s voice is not the one that shamed you, controlled you, or dismissed you.

He is not the sound of guilt-driven obedience.
He is not coercion dressed in Scripture.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”
— Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

Yes, He convicts — but never condemns.
Yes, He calls — but never forces.

🔹 Learning to Listen Again

You don’t need to perform to hear from God. You need to be present.

Simple practices can reopen the ears of your heart:

🕊️ Whispered, honest prayer — not polished, but real
📖 Reading the Gospels slowly — listening for Christ’s tone
✍️ Writing letters to God — even angry or confused ones
🌿 Sitting in silence — and letting the silence be enough

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

These are not tasks. They are invitations.
You are not climbing back to Him — you are meeting the One who already came to you.

🔹 From Religion to Relationship

Jesus came not to establish a new hierarchy, but to tear down the wall that separated us.
He called the unqualified. He welcomed the broken. He stood against the religious elite when they distorted the Father's heart.

We must remember: God isn’t recruiting you for a program.
He is restoring you to a Person.

🔹 A Word to Leaders — and to the Flock

The New Testament writers warned relentlessly of false teaching — even more than the attacks of our spiritual enemy.

This matters.

Not because pastors are villains — but because those of us in leadership bear the weight of shaping God’s voice to the people.

Sometimes, what people flee is not God, but our distortion of Him.

To every wounded believer: Your Shepherd is still good.
To every leader: Let us tremble at the responsibility we carry.

🕊️ Closing Thoughts – God Still Speaks

God’s voice was never silenced. It was smothered beneath performance, pressure, and pain.

Now — as you return not to the walls, but to the Father — listen again.
Not for thunder.
Not for a sermon.
But for the voice that knows your name and still calls you home.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
— Psalm 147:3 (NIV)