Counselling with Conviction: August 2025

Thursday, August 14, 2025

Part 5: Confronting Truth with Courage

Leading With Conviction

There are moments in leadership when silence feels safer than speaking up. We weigh the risks, consider the fallout, and sometimes convince ourselves that staying quiet is the “loving” choice. But in God’s eyes, silence in the face of sin or injustice can be the very opposite of love.

True leadership requires the courage to speak truth — not for our own sake, but for the sake of the person we’re called to lead.

Nathan and David: The Uncomfortable Assignment

After David’s sin with Bathsheba and his orchestration of Uriah’s death, God sent the prophet Nathan to confront the king.

"The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, 'There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor…'" (2 Samuel 12:1, NIV).

Nathan didn’t march in swinging accusations. He began with a story — a parable that disarmed David’s defenses. But when the moment came, Nathan spoke the piercing truth:

"You are the man!" (2 Samuel 12:7, NIV).

This wasn’t a safe conversation. David held the power to end Nathan’s life with a word. But Nathan feared God more than he feared the reaction of a king.

The Courage Leaders Need

Nathan’s example reminds us that confrontation is not about aggression — it’s about love that is willing to risk discomfort. As leaders, whether in ministry, counseling, or family, we carry a responsibility to guard those in our care. That includes protecting them from the self-deception of sin.

Proverbs 27:5–6 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (NIV).

True courage is fueled by compassion. Without love, confrontation becomes cruelty. Without courage, love becomes passive enablement.

Practical Truth-Telling

For leaders today, “Nathan moments” may come in many forms:

Addressing moral compromise in a leadership team.
Calling out harmful gossip before it corrodes relationships.
Warning against doctrinal drift that leads people away from Christ.
Having the hard conversation with someone in private rather than letting sin continue in silence.

Paul writes in Ephesians 4:15 that we are to "speak the truth in love." And in Galatians 6:1, he urges, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted" (NIV).

The goal is always restoration, never humiliation.

Where Silence Speaks Loudest

Sometimes the greatest damage in leadership is done not by what we say, but by what we refuse to say. When leaders avoid the truth, it communicates that reputation, comfort, or position matter more than the spiritual health of the people we serve.

Nathan’s words to David changed the course of a king’s life and legacy. Our willingness to speak up could change the course of someone’s eternity.

A Call to Courage

Take a moment and ask:

Where have I been avoiding truth because I fear the fallout?
Who is God calling me to confront — gently, prayerfully, but directly?
Am I willing to risk comfort to protect the heart and soul of another?

Nathan’s courage reminds us that love is not silent, and leadership is not passive. Godly leaders confront not to condemn, but to heal.

When we lead with conviction, we can stand before God knowing we chose obedience over approval.

Friday, August 8, 2025

The Weight of Influence - Part 4

Leading With Conviction

“Now then, stand here, because I am going to confront you with evidence before the Lord as to all the righteous acts performed by the Lord for you and your ancestors.”
— 1 Samuel 12:7 (NIV)

There’s a kind of influence that doesn’t come from charisma, title, or platform. It’s not handed out by popular vote. It’s earned — in the quiet places, over time, through humility, obedience, and consistency.

That kind of influence is heavy — not because it crushes, but because it matters.

When Influence Is Misunderstood

Today, the word “influencer” often conjures thoughts of followers, engagement metrics, and viral reach.
But spiritual influence isn’t about reach.
It’s about responsibility.

God’s leaders are not called to build platforms.
They’re called to steward people — and that begins with integrity.

Samuel: Influence Rooted in Integrity

“Here I stand. Testify against me in the presence of the Lord... Whose ox have I taken? Whom have I cheated?”
— 1 Samuel 12:3

When Samuel stood before the nation of Israel, he wasn’t defensive.
He was confident in his integrity.
He asked the people to search his leadership — to examine his decisions, his character, his stewardship.

And they had no accusation to bring.

That’s weighty influence.
Not because of how loud Samuel spoke, but because of how consistently he lived.
His leadership didn’t need a spotlight.
It held up under scrutiny.

Nehemiah: Influence That Says “No”

When Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem, his enemies tried to distract him.
They invited him to meet, to dialogue, to negotiate.

But Nehemiah replied:

“I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.”
— Nehemiah 6:3

Spiritual influence discerns distraction.
Not every opportunity is divine.
Not every open door is from God.

Nehemiah’s influence wasn’t just in his vision — it was in his refusal to compromise it.
He didn’t seek affirmation.
He sought completion.

Paul: Influence That Guards Both Message and Method

“Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God.”
— 2 Corinthians 4:2

Paul didn’t just protect what he preached — he guarded how he preached it.
He refused to manipulate or sugar-coat.
He understood that when the method is corrupted, the message is too.

Influence with integrity means never using the Word of God as a means to control, exploit, or impress.

The Call to Steward Influence

True influence isn't flashy.
It’s faithful.

It’s Samuel’s honesty, Nehemiah’s resolve, and Paul’s transparency.
It’s integrity over visibility.
Discernment over popularity.
Obedience over applause.

If God has entrusted you with influence — over a church, a group, a household, or even one person — you are called to steward, not perform.

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care... not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve.”
— 1 Peter 5:2

New Testament Echoes: Jesus and Paul

Jesus, after feeding the five thousand, withdrew alone because the people wanted to make Him king by force (John 6:15).
He knew premature fame could derail the mission.

Paul warned Timothy,

“Watch your life and doctrine closely.” — 1 Timothy 4:16
And Peter charged elders to lead by example, not by dominance (1 Peter 5:3).

Practical Takeaways for Today’s Leaders

Let God weigh your influence. Platforms come and go. Integrity holds.
Discern before you act. Like Nehemiah, you may have to say “no” to what flatters but distracts.
Preach with clean hands. The message must be holy — but so must the messenger.
Measure quietly. Your faithfulness behind the scenes weighs more than your following on any stage.

Closing Reflection: Not a Burden, but a Stewardship

Influence is not something to chase — it’s something to carry.

Let it weigh you down — not with fear, but with reverence.
If God entrusted you with people, gifts, or truth, then you are under no obligation to the applause of men.

You are accountable to something higher.
Your influence matters — not because of the size of your audience, but because of the God who called you.

Monday, August 4, 2025

Shepherding Without a Stage

Series: Leading With Conviction – Part 3

Posted in: Counselling With Conviction

“But if I say, ‘I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,’
his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”

— Jeremiah 20:9 (NIV)

There’s a kind of leadership the world will never spotlight—quiet, faithful, and often uncelebrated. It doesn't seek applause. It endures rejection, fatigue, and moments of deep inner wrestling. This is the shepherding leadership of Scripture.
And if you're living it, you’re likely not on a stage.

The Call No One Applauds

Jeremiah was not a popular prophet. He was mocked, misunderstood, and even imprisoned. Yet his obedience never hinged on approval. The word of God burned inside him, and that fire was enough to fuel his mission—even when the world silenced him.

As a leader in today’s church—especially in the face of spiritual fatigue or disappointment—you may know that same fire. You’ve considered stepping back. You've wondered if you're making any difference at all.
But like Jeremiah, something inside won’t let you walk away—not fully.
That’s not weakness. That’s evidence of calling.

Spiritual Shepherding vs. Stage Presence

Too often, leadership is confused with charisma. The loudest voice in the room gets the mic, and those who quietly bleed behind the scenes are left unseen.
But in the kingdom of God, stage presence does not equal spiritual authority.

The New Testament affirms what the Old Testament often revealed through physical hardship: God’s leaders are shepherds, not celebrities.

Consider Jesus—the ultimate Shepherd—who taught crowds but wept in solitude, who washed feet instead of demanding honor.

“Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you.
Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.”
— Hebrews 13:7 (NIV)

Leadership worth imitating isn’t flashy.
It’s faithful.

New Testament Echoes: Jesus and Paul

The New Testament confirms that faithful leadership is rarely popular leadership.

Jesus, in His own hometown of Nazareth, was rejected outright.

“Isn’t this the carpenter’s son?” they scoffed. (Matthew 13:55)
The Son of God—the only perfect shepherd—was met not with honor, but with suspicion and offense.
“A prophet is not without honor except in his own town.”

Paul was beaten, imprisoned, and abandoned by many of the churches he helped plant. He said plainly:

“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me.” (2 Timothy 4:16)
And still, he preached, wrote, taught, corrected, and carried on.

Why?
Because like Jeremiah, they were not driven by applause but by calling.

Practical Takeaways for Leaders Tempted to Quit

1. Remember who called you.
If God put the fire in your bones, don’t expect men to keep it lit. Let Him sustain it.

2. Silence does not equal failure.
The prophet Ezekiel was told in advance that people wouldn’t listen. His success wasn’t measured by their reaction, but by his obedience (Ezekiel 2:5-7).

3. Resist the stage addiction.
Leadership isn’t proven in front of a crowd. It’s proven in the quiet, in the prayer closet, in the heartache, and in faithfulness over time.

4. Lean on the faithful few.
Jesus sent His disciples out two by two. Paul had Timothy, Luke, and others.
Find your Barnabas. Don’t go alone.

Fire in Your Bones

Jeremiah’s fire is what still burns in every God-called leader—whether in pulpits, in counseling offices, in homes, or across coffee tables.
It’s not a show. It’s not performance. It’s mission.

And it’s exhausting.
Which is why it’s not sustained by platform, but by presence—God’s presence.

The truth is: the most trustworthy shepherds aren’t standing on stages.
They’re usually standing in the gap.

Series Cap: The Leadership Journey So Far

Part 1: How to Lead Through Pain
Explored the cost of shepherding, the heartbreak it involves, and how Jesus calls us to lead from our scars, not around them.

Part 2: The Cost of the Call
Reflected on Moses, who bore the weight of a wandering people with deep frustration, yet still returned to God over and over.

Part 3: Shepherding Without a Stage
Uplifts the quiet, often unseen strength of spiritual leadership, and encourages those who serve without applause.

Closing Reflection

If you're ready to walk away, you're not alone.
But you’re not finished either.

The fire shut up in your bones is not of your making.
And it is not yours to extinguish.

Let the Holy Spirit stir again—not through accolades, but through conviction.
Not through performance, but through presence.

Leadership, real leadership, begins where popularity ends.

Personal Note:
This was the first passage ever shared with me during my first spiritual counseling session.
Thank you, Benoni P.
Your zeal always spoke louder than your words.