The core values that make
up my worldview are faith in God followed by a lack of faith in humanity. I do
not trust myself let alone other people and this is not a self-esteem issue,
just my conclusions on what makes a human a human. Of course through God and
His Son and Spirit I have many bonds of trust with others as long as faith in
God is our foundational bond. It has been my experience and perhaps upbringing
to expect others to come up short. Yet, the effort any of us make in being more
than sinful is an absolute encouragement. In the end I would not summarize my
worldview as negative but one of accepting who we are and who we are not.
In truth my upbringing played a tremendous role in
shaping my worldview as I watched my mother do the impossible time and again
with no one to celebrate with. As a single parent she needed help in areas we
can all take for granted. I can remember several moving days when others said
they would help out but in the end it was just mom and I packing and loading
the U-Haul truck. I remember as a child the impact certain passages had on me
as a result of these experiences. “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or
‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37, NIV)
Perhaps
more dramatically I can recall just how spiteful I was towards those that did
not keep their word and the only peace I found was in accepting that they may
be demons in disguise (this is from a child’s mind and I do not think this way
as an adult): “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of
light.” (2 Corinthians 11:14, NIV) Again, I will mention that I saw myself in
this light as well, knowing that I had let down my mother and others on many
occasions. This was not a view forged from a “righteous me” versus the world by
any means.
Another foundational element in shaping my worldview is
the idea of being in a family. It was just my mother and I for many years until
I was sixteen and being a part of a family was very desirable. It was then
troublesome to watch my home church become less of a family and more of a high
powered non-profit organization. There is no doubt this factors in to my views
on church and church culture. This has been a double-edged sword for me as
there have been many positives in this understanding as well. Ministry for
example has always become family because I believe I would be teaching
something other than Christ if it did not.
The challenges have also been the benefits in ministry.
Family is messy and it may not have the “look” of Christian conformity but then
again what does that look like. I can think of many very different examples all
stemming from the same book. The challenge has been when others have a voice
and realize it will be heard. Those labelled as trouble makers are usually
asked to come over to my house and this is how we like it. When brothers and
sisters come to an understanding that they are competent to instruct one
another a new chapter is open to them. It also becomes problematic in that we
no longer care to be students now that we finally have the microphone and an
audience.
The only leadership I have ever experienced to be
successful is through complete weakness. Sharing failures and hurts while
finding comfort in our Lord is by far more powerful than the most epic of
sermons and believe me I love to preach. Removing yourself from the constant
spotlight and allowing others to share their conviction is a great way to
remain a student and not a guru sitting on a high hill. Making the declaration
that you have no original material and that the Gospel of Alex Moghadam (your
name here) will fail you and lead you astray but the Gospel of Jesus brings
salvation and peace should be a bit of a mantra.
I will share a story that truly inspired me to change my
ways even though my ways were taking me exactly where I wanted to be. As a campus ministry leader many years ago
one of my roles was to preach every third Sunday for the church and every
Wednesday for the campus. I would put in so much time and effort into my
sermons and there was fasting and dedicated prayer to accompany the effort. On
Sunday I was always welcomed by the church and would see and hear things from
the pulpit that would set my soul on fire so to speak. I had older men that I
respected tell me how gifted I was as a speaker and I saw folks cry and could
only think that they must be right.
Perhaps they were and perhaps I can deliver a message
with clarity and impact but that is not the point here. One Wednesday with the
campus ministry I addressed some attitudes in the ministry only to find out
that my example was the cause of these attitudes. There was a spirit of
competition between the brothers that had nothing to do with seeing God
glorified. Each was out for their own glory. I was humbled as I recalled how
Jesus handled a competitive spirit in His own ministry and how He was able to
settle it so quickly. It would be easy enough to say it is because He is Lord
and this is true but He was also man and He served His disciples and did not
seek a spotlight.
It took me weeks of serving my ministry for my words,
even as I used the Bible, to have the kind of meaning they needed to. The
pulpit is a dangerous place as it is in my opinion just another piece of wood
God’s people can fall in love with over Him. This experience helped to shape my
view because when I was the next preacher to take over the world I had no
personal or lasting impact with my ministry but when I was Alex the defeated
sinner in need of a Savior I had real strength.
No comments:
Post a Comment